What Am I?

Today I was looking through my Volleyball USA magazine and read "You can't force-feed passion"  by Mike Sealy.  Reading the following quote struck me hard as a teacher, parent, and coach.  I have needed to hear this for a long time, maybe it was said to me before, but I finally heard the message.


What am I?
I am a Teacher. 
What can I do?
I can expose you to ideas, but I cannot tell you what to think.
I can guide you, but you must discover the limits of your own potential.
I can encourage you, but your greatest fulfillment must come from within.  
I can listen to you, but I will not tell you what to say.
I can look with you, but I cannot tell you what you will see.
I can move with you, but I cannot tell you what to feel.
I can speak with you, but I cannot tell you what to hear.
I can do some things with you, but you can do more with yourself.
I can guide you on the path of discovery, but I cannot tell you the answer.


For so many years I took it personally when a student or player didn't get it (why they needed to do their homework, not picking up the tip when you have practiced it over and over, etc.)  What was I doing wrong?  I tried all approaches, being super encouraging, punishments, rewards, stepping back - nothing was working.  After reading the quote, I realized that it is a two way street and the phrase "you can lead a horse to water but you can't make them drink" is so true (unless you are a teacher - No Child Left Behind).  Not only is this quote good for parents, teachers, and coaches, but for all young people.  They have to know their part and their part is the most important.


Now that I am a parent, I will teach my son my Christian faith and when he is old enough I hope he will call it his own.  I have to remember that I can show him the way but I can't force him into the faith.  I have to trust Jesus with him.  


I have to let him fall so he will know how to pick himself up.
I have to let him struggle so he will know Jesus' peace, learn perseverance, and feel accomplishment.
I have to let him make mistakes so he learns about consequences. 
I have to let him hurt so he knows how Jesus can heal.
I have to let him sin so he knows he is forgiven and how to ask for forgiveness.
I have to let him get his heart broken so he will know true love.
I have to let him go so he can find himself.


Through all of it I (and my husband) will be there to love and encourage him.  The worst thing I can do as a parent is to shield and protect him from all the hard things life throws his way.  If I do then he will be crippled and never know the good parts of life.  I will shed many tears, my heart will hurt for him, but in the end I know he will be man God created him to be and strong in faith.

Mental Toughness - Not Just for Athletes!

My mom got me hooked on Dancing with the Stars when she came down to help me after Jadon was born.  After weeks of faithful watching, the episode before the final results show, there was a piece on each of the final 3 dancers on what gave them the "right stuff" to win Dancing with the Stars.  The piece on Hines Ward really impacted me as a coach and a parent.  One of his coaches said that it was Hines' mother who taught him the attributes that made him such an outstanding athlete at Georgia and with the Steelers.  Now he has a Mirror Ball Trophy!

This made me stop and think back to this past coaching season.

• Before I saw that episode, I was thinking that parenting is reflected in how an athlete trains and performs.  (I am absolutely positive about that now.)
• I thought there is very little I could do as a coach in 4 - 6 hours a week to combat any "bad parenting" that affects an athlete's mental side of the game that inevitably affects the physical side.
• Mental toughness is needed in all areas of life - not just in sports.
• Where and how did I learn mental toughness?

First of all, I define mental toughness as being able to deal with pressure situations, doing what it takes to accomplish your goals, and working hard and pushing yourself beyond what is comfortable.  Check out this article from Penn State on mental toughness. 

My most recent life example of mental toughness was having a homebirth.  I had to believe in myself that I could deliver my son with out any pain meds.  Then in the midst of the most difficult part of labor when I felt I had nothing left, I refocused, and used every ounce of mental strength I had to finish labor and the delivery.  My reward - my beautiful son Jadon, huge sense of accomplishment, and an increase in my mental toughness. 

My two favorite coaching moments are incredible examples of mental toughness.  Coincidentally they are the exact same, just different teams.

In my 2nd year as varsity head coach at Eau Gallie High School, my team won the District title for the first time in 10+ years.  We were playing against a team we struggled playing against during the season.  In a best of 5 match, we were down 0 - 2.  My team came back and won the next 2 games.  Then in the 5th and deciding game, my team was down 6 points in a game to 15.  My girls dug their heals in and came back to win the game, match, and District Title!  Side note - this team was good, but not as talented as other teams I coached, yet they went further than any other team I had!

This past fall I coached for Cornerstone Preparatory Academy.  We had an excellent season winning the American Heritage Tournament and making it to the finals in the ACCE (link to team photo) Conference.  The exact same thing happened!  Down 0-2 and came back to win the 5th game, match, and State Title!

Thinking about these two memories still brings tears to my eyes because the girls all worked so hard individually and as a team to TAKE the win.  I honestly don't take any credit for their success - yes I taught them the skills they needed, but with out their mental toughness and the mental toughness of the team, they wouldn't be holding the trophies at the end of the match. 

In preparation for this upcoming club season, I am committing to develop mental toughness in my players that they can use off and on the court!

Starting Over - A New Blog

I started my first blog 5 months before I had my son Jadon - that is now 6 months ago.  I hardly posted on it at all. So being true to myself, instead of just posting more, I wanted a brand new blog.  Whenever I make a new resolve to do something, I have to start over from the beginning.  Like if I start a journal and fail to write in it consistently, I won't just pick up where I left off, I have to get a whole new journal for a fresh start! 

Title of my blog says it all - Mothering, Coaching, Running - my life in a nutshell.



My Plans:

1. Research vaccinations and decide what Josh and I feel is best for Jadon. (The Vaccine Book by Dr. Sears)
2. Run the Iron Horse 15K on September 18th. 5KTraining , 15K Training
3. Join an Adult Volleyball Team in the Fall.
4. Read the Bible in a year - currently using You Version, Life Journal Reading Plan on my iPhone.  I am on day 5.
5. Read Clive Cussler's the NUMA Files series.
6. Project 365 - take a picture everyday on my iPhone.
7. Follow my favorite blogs.
8. Blog -  weekly topics. 

• Monday ~ Mommy Monday
• Tuesday ~ Thoughtful Coaching
• Wednesday ~ Whimsy Wednesday (Anything Goes!)
• Thursday ~ Thankful Thursday (not sure who started this, but it is an awesome idea)
• Friday ~ Fit Friday (Running Updates)
 

This seems like a lot for a mother of a 6 week old, but when you nurse every 2 - 3 hours during the day, you have a lot of down time for reading and blogging.  I need to keep myself occupied so I don't go crazy!  For some reason the idea of sleep when your baby sleeps doesn't apply to me - I guess a 4  hour nap and a 3 hour nap during the night is all I need!